I hate dad jokes. They’re lame and, for the most part, not funny. When my dad drops one, which he does often, I grab whatever’s convenient and heave it in his direction. A book, last night’s dinner plate, the toaster—it doesn’t matter. It’s all part of our love language.
And that, precisely, is the point: for dads, terrible puns and other braindead wordplay are a ploy for emotional connection—and a charmingly transparent one. They want to hear us giggle despite ourselves or, just as good, groan and chuck the toaster at them. We should cherish this. There are so few culturally accepted, unimpeachably masculine, positive behaviors for fathers to imitate. Hell, there aren’t that many culturally accepted, unimpeachably masculine, positive behaviors for men to imitate. In a world where masculinity is caught between some truly awful impulses and a well-meaning but fundamentally feminine1 counterargument, the dad joke stands with comic books and model trains to offer men a third way.
It’s also a nice bonding point for those of us with decent fathers. Isn’t it funny how all of us had to deal with the same dad joke crap when we were kids? My dad is just like your dad—who knew! For those of us who are sons, we also get to indulge in a little performative mock-horror as we age and start making dad jokes ourselves. All of this is very silly, very self-aware, and very male—an uncommon combination.
So the next time your dad says something stupid that he obviously thinks is funny, tell him you love him. Then throw a book at him so he knows you mean it.
There’s nothing wrong with being feminine. That said, most men—even socially adjusted, self-aware, emotionally in-tune men like me—enjoy being men.